But where was God...

For so long i went through the issues of life alone. Masking the pain. For so long, i thought that if i could just look like i had it all together as so many of us do then maybe just maybe the pain will soon fade away. I become comfortable in my pain, so much so until it became part of me. I had become an expert at masking pain.

looking back over my life i always wonder where was God during lifes most difficult times. Was he too busy with others, and thier problems. Had i become so disobedient, so disconnected, so far out of the will of God. Did he even hear my crys in the midnight hours. Or had i disappointed him so much that he had given up on me all together.

Those are questions alot of us woman find ourselves asking. We may get into relationships after relationships that hurt. We may be left raising children on our own. We may even be looking for love in all of the wrong places, and the wrong beds. And when it seems like nothing is working, like everything around you is failing then we wonder where God is.

I use to ask myself over and over again, where was God. Until one day i would become so broken, so tiered of doing things my way. So drained from looking for a love in someone that was just as broken as i was and was never able to give me that love that i was looking for. I remember crying out to God and telling him if he wold just take the pain away i would serve him with everthing in me.

I was crying out to a God, looking for a God who had been there all the time. Where was God, he was right there in my cry of surrenderance. He was there in my YES. He was right there when i bowed down before him. He was right there as i did things my way making sure my life was still spared. He was right there making sure i made it home from partying and drinking. He was right there making sure that my promiscuity didnt cause me to get HIV. He was right there in the fights, protecting me. He was right there when men would use me.

God was there with me all the time. So when you find yourself asking where God is, ask yourself where are you in God. Becasuse God is there right there all the time. Waiting, with his arms out stretched to receive you unto him.

Her Makeover

Shalonda Inspires